i just need people to understand that before cell phones we had to call landlines and your friend’s parents would answer and YOU HAD TO TALK TO THEIR PARENTS until your friend came to the phone.

That’s amazing that your two year old is reading. Mine just threw a temper tantrum because I wouldn’t put his shoes on the wrong feet.

When my daughter was 3 she charged like $380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime. She is 13 going on 14 and she will be watching that content until she goes to college.

If you’re wondering what parenting is like, my 4-year-old just threw a tantrum and told me to go away and then threw a second tantrum because I went away.

People w babies are like “I’d love to do lunch, how’s 9:45am?”

Sometimes I miss having a toddler, but then I hear a toddler throwing a tantrum because “the moon keeps following me!” Then, I think, “ya, I’m good.”

Take your kids to the ocean so they can repeatedly ask to swim in the hotel pool.

3yo is currently having a meltdown because I won’t call the fire department to rescue a bird from a tree.

Once again I have an appointment at 1:30 so I have no choice but to spend all morning doing nothing.

My 3 year old just threw an epic tantrum because I called her popcorn a “snack” instead of dessert. In case you’re wondering what parenting is like.

Me: You wrote W-H-A-T-E-R. That’s not how you spell water. My 6-year-old: That’s how it SHOULD be spelled.

Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money.