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Monthly Archives: April 2023

Playing Favourites

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Humour Leave a comment

I don’t have a favorite child but if you were to go by the photos on my phone it’s the dog.

Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section

i was doing my taxes on turbo tax and next thing i know, they said i owe money. i never closed a website tab so fast

Every type of Italian sausage is a good name for a cat, every type of German sausage is a good name for a dog.

Having your 9 year old daughter pack for a sleepover is a great idea, as long as you’re fine with her taking 17 stuffed unicorns and no socks.

Turbo Tax is the worst computer game ever.

Hello. I’d like to report a felony. I sent my husband out to get supplies for a charcuterie board and he came back without any cheese.

My kids could never get away with a murder because they’d leave an empty fruit snack wrapper at the crime scene.

Marriage is just asking each other “What was that?” every time you hear a noise in the house for the rest of your life.

Our dog knows way too many phrases now, so my husband and I have resorted to talking like Victorian nobility to get anything by him. “Have you taken the dog on a brisk adventure recently? Would you escort the canine to the backyard, forthwith? Has he supped yet?”

Of the Land

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Terroir Leave a comment

They’ve been doing this for a while (130+ years) 

On the palate, bright aromas of red and black fruit follow up with delightful notes of spice and thyme. Great structure, velvety tannins and balanced acidity with a lingering finish. This 100% Tempranillo is truly authentic of the terroir.

I’m going to look for their whites next visit to the Goddess.  

VINO DE LA TIERRA – BODEGAS MANZANOS EL TOREAU

$11.99 regularly $14.99

13% alcohol

UPC: 08421950959668

mystery case Tempranillo

Pain Index

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Terroir Leave a comment

Ranking the Pain of Stinging Insects, From ‘Spicy’ to ‘Shockingly Electric’

Scroll down to see a full-scale pain index, with Justin Schmidt’s own poetic descriptions. MICHELLE ENEMARK

Trekking along a mountain in Guanacaste Province, Costa Rica, entomologist Justin Schmidt came across a nest of the tropical wasp species Polybia simillima, better known as the fierce black polybia wasp. The agile, buzzing insect has a reputation for having a painful sting. But Schmidt casted fear aside and approached the nest buried deep inside a dark, densely prickly shrub. He was using a pair of clippers to remove branches, when the angry wasps exploded out at him like flying shards of glass, greeting him with sharp stings.

“A ritual gone wrong, satanic. The gas lamp in the old church explodes in your face when you light it,” Schmidt later wrote about his battle with the fierce black polybia wasp.

This description is one of 78 entries of ant, bee, and wasp stings in his Pain Scale for Stinging Insects, widely referred to as the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. Schmidt, who died in February 2023* was a biologist at Southwestern Biological Institute and researcher in the entomology department at the University of Arizona, and willingly offered his arm to different stinging insects of the order Hymenoptera to create the index featured in his 2016 book The Sting of the Wild. The index ranks stinging pain on a scale of 1 (red fire ant) to 4 (warrior wasp) and recounts Schmidt’s face-off with each insect with a poetic, and sometimes humorous, description. We have depicted a selection of insects included in Schmidt’s Sting Pain Index above, scaling the insects by how agonizing their stings are.

Road Id-gets

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Humour Leave a comment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qYyu…

Paraprosdokian 

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Terroir Leave a comment
  • I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. –Groucho Marx
  • He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. –Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • I haven’t slept for 10 days, because that would be too long. –Mitch Hedberg
  • Standing in the park today, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets…then it hit me. –Stewart Francis
  • When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. –Rodney Dangerfield
  • My husband can’t stand to see trash and garbage lying around the house – he can’t stand the competition. –Phyllis Diller
  • Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. –George Carlin
  • There are three kinds of people in the world – those who can count, and those who can’t. –Unknown
  • I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they’d never expect it. –Jack Handey
  • The company accountant is shy and retiring. He’s shy a quarter of a million dollars. That’s why he’s retiring. –Milton Berle
  • I’m a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge. –Robin Williams
  • I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking,’”but I don’t have that much time. –Stephen Wright
  • Always remember my grandfather’s last words: “A truck!” –Emo Phillips
  • Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones. –Joan Rivers
  • If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker. –The Simpsons (1989)
  • You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die. –Golden Girls
  • If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer. –Friends
  • “That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.” –Seinfeld
  • When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then you spoke. –As Good as It Gets (1997)
  • I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. –The Office
  • Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Room! –Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • I hope that someday you’ll know the indescribable joy of having children and of paying someone else to raise them. –The Addams Family
  • Her lips said “No,” but her eyes said “read my lips.” –Frasier
  • She thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of hers. –Arrested Development

Confessions

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Music Leave a comment

Amalia Rodrigues

Nem ás paredes confesso

Not even to the walls will I confess 

Don’t wish to love me (don’t think of loving me)

Without me asking you to

Don’t even give me anything which in the end

I don’t deserve

Then see if you can find

Blame / regret on my face

This is sincere (I really mean this)

Because I do not want

To give you reason to be offended/ (feel pain)

The one I love

Not even to the walls will I confess

And I even bet

That I love nobody.

You can smile

You can lie

You can even cry (about the fact that)

The one that I love;

Not even to the walls will I confess

Who knows if I have forgotten you

(Or whether) if I want you

Who knows even if it’s you

That I am waiting for?

Whether I love or not, (in the end)

Is my business

Even if you think

That you can convince me

I (shall) tell you nothing

(the name of) the one I love

Not even to the walls (will I) confess

And I even bet

That I love nobody

Grand Entertainment

Posted on April 17, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Terroir Leave a comment

Set in the turbulent days of the founding of Hong Kong in the 1840s, Tai-Pan is the story of Dirk Struan, the ruler – the Tai-Pan – of the most powerful trading company in the Far East. He is also a pirate, an opium smuggler, and a master manipulator of men. This is the story of his fight to establish himself and his dynasty as the undisputed masters of the Orient.

After visiting Hong Kong with Benson Fong in 1962, Clavell returned in 1963 with his family for a year. He said it took him five false starts, 241 days to write a first draft, and 12 weeks to do the second. Clavell originally wanted the novel to span from the establishment of Hong Kong until the present day but when writing it decided to end the novel on the death of the first tai pan. He did so much research it gave him the idea to write a trilogy; in particular he later wrote a novel set in 1963 Hong Kong, Noble House.

James Clavell, the son of a Royal Navy family, was educated in Portsmouth before, as a young artillery officer, he was captured by the Japanese at the Fall of Singapore. It was on this experience that his bestselling novel KING RAT was based. He maintained this oriental interest in his other great works: TAI-PAN, SHOGUN, NOBLE HOUSE and GAI JIN. Clavell lived for many years in Vancouver and Los Angeles, before settling in Switzerland, where he died in 1994.

If you didn’t know by now

Posted on April 16, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Humour Leave a comment

Right wine for the day

Posted on April 15, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Terroir Leave a comment

The vineyards are located in the Pedernal Valley at 1350 meters above sea level. The altitude gives long cold nights providing fresh flavours and a strong structure.  15 months aging in new French oak barrels.

This marvellous Malbec from the magnificent Pedernal Valley features ripe plums and violets with a touch of smoke, vanilla and chocolate on the nose. Full-bodied, yet sweet tannins lead into a long and delicious finish. A perfect pairing with grilled red meats and ripe cheese.

Went perfectly with a homemade stew on a rainy night.

MALBEC – LAS MORAS PAZ

$14.99 regularly $17.99

14.5% Alcohol

UPC: 07790240093780

Malbec mystery case

Can’t leave out Central and Eastern Europe

Posted on April 14, 2023 by Roger Harmston Posted in Terroir Leave a comment


Indigenous grapes are special. Vines grown in the very soils and microclimates where they’ve evolved produce grapes that are endlessly expressive — often much more so than international transplants would be in the same location.

Wines made from the indigenous grapes of the former Communist nations in Central and Eastern Europe are increasingly gaining worldwide recognition. Historically and sociopolitically, it’s a major development.

Before the rise of Communism, countries like Romania, Moldova, Georgia, Slovenia, and Croatia produced fine wine. Under Soviet mandate, however, their prestigious wineries were disbanded and replaced by low-quality, bulk-producing cooperatives. After the fall of Communism, each nation emerged determined to reclaim its fine-wine-producing identity.

Efforts are now bearing fruit — ‘scuse the pun — but it hasn’t been easy. Difficulties involving post-Soviet Russia have hampered progress, and wines from these countries are only just becoming accessible worldwide.

In the spirit of global community, here’s guide to Central and Eastern European native grape varieties.

MOLDOVA & ROMANIA

To be clear, Moldova and Romania are two distinct countries with separate cultures and history. We’re linking them here because they share many indigenous varieties. Though not as well known as other European winemaking nations, Romania actually has the fifth-largest total planted vineyard area in the EU, and Moldova is emerging as a high quality producer.

White variety Feteasca Alba has naturally high sugar levels. Its wines are intensely aromatic, with candied apricot and honeyed notes that smell deceptively sweet. But dry and off-dry styles are common, with apricot flavors on the nose and palate.

The second of three Feteasca varieties found in these two nations is Feteasca Regala. It offers fresher aromas of green apple and tart, tropical fruits. Tannins from the grapes’ skins provides a complex texture, with Chenin-esque oiliness and a waxy, honeyed finish.

Feteasca Neagră is the third of the Feteasca trio. The late-ripening, thick-skinned red variety produces fruit-driven wines with spicy and smoky notes. Best described as a mix between Gamay and Loire Valley Cab Franc (Bourgueil), the wines are medium-bodied, with dusty tannins that round everything off nicely.

Another native red variety is Rara Neagră. Showing a host of smoky bacon as well as agricultural notes on the nose — imagine walking through a working farmyard on a warm summer’s eve — this variety is akin to Austrian Pinot Noir, Spätburgunder, and, as one taster put it, “dirty, old-school northern Rhone Syrah.” Attractive violet aromas permeate the smoked meat and earthy notes, as does a tropical fruit scent not commonly found in red wines.

GEORGIA

Located in the South Caucasus on the border of Eastern Europe and Asia, Georgia is home to some 500 native varieties, around 80 of which are still commonly grown. Central to the country’s extensive winemaking history are qvevri: large, egg-shaped earthenware vessels used to ferment and store wine.

When buying Georgian wines, it’s vital to know if the wine was fermented in qvevri because the process has a marked impact on its flavor, aroma, and mouthfeel. Both red and white qvevri wines are produced.

Rkatsiteli is Georgia’s most popular white variety. Wines made using modern techniques — such as stainless-steel fermentation — are most similar in character to Petit Chablis, with a green character, and occasional added creaminess where malolactic fermentation has taken place.

Qvevri-made Rkatsiteli wines are a complete departure. Tasted blind, they can easily be mistaken for reds, with aromas of wild spices and dried herbs and just a flicker of ripe fruits. Unlike modern, “natural” orange wines, there are few funky notes and no petillance. Instead, these wines have well-incorporated tannins and intense beeswax and oxidized fruit flavors.

Saperavi is the Georgian word for “dye” and is also the nation’s primary red variety. Unsurprisingly, its wines are intensely colored and are even used, in small percentages, to boost the color of other blends.

High-quality Saperavi that undergoes oak aging is increasingly common. The best examples of this style are reminiscent of Brunello di Montalcino: elegant yet wild; fruit-driven, with earthy and meaty notes; and textured with a mix of grape-skin and oak tannic structure.

Red qvevri wines are much more savory than fruity — imagine the sweetness of cured meats, with a side of fruit compote. Because red wines are commonly fermented on their skins, the influence of qvevri is less noticeable than with whites, yet an unmistakable funky character remains.

SLOVENIA

The Central European nation Slovenia shares its western border with Italy’s Friuli-Venezia Giulia region, and many grape varieties grown here are found in both countries. The small, picturesque country is famed for its white wine production.

Rebula is the most common white grape. (Sound familiar? It’s known in Italy as Ribolla Gialla, and in Greece as Robola.) Wines are made in still and sparkling form, and still wines are green- and citrus-fruit-driven, with floral honeysuckle notes. Well-balanced and refreshingly acidic, Rebula is an easy-drinking white, ideal for chilled summer sipping.

If you’re a fan of Prosecco, sparkling Rebula is for you. Like Prosecco, secondary fermentation takes place in pressurized tanks before wine is transferred to bottles, a process that is otherwise known as the charmat method. With vibrant acidity, well-incorporated fizz, and the faintest hint of residual sugar, sparkling Rebula displays all the merits of this efficient winemaking technique.

Another commonly grown Slovenian white is Sauvignonasse, which is also known in other countries as Friulano, or Sauvignon Vert. Predominantly displaying citrus and stone fruit aromas, like Rebula, these are refreshing whites with some minerality in the highest-quality examples.

CROATIA

Located across the Adriatic Sea from Italy, Croatian winemaking is split between coastal and island regions in the west and landlocked continental areas in the northeast. In addition to its wine production, Croatia is known for its Slavonian forests, a prime source of the oak casks in which some of the finest Italian wines are aged.

Pošip is one of Croatia’s primary indigenous white grapes. Wines are crisp and aromatic, with green-fruit flavors and a hint of vanilla spice and almond. The grape is indigenous to the island of Korčula but is now grown extensively on the Dalmatian coast.

The most popular red variety is Plavac Mali and, like Pošip, grapes are grown mainly along the Dalmatian coast. Wines are big hitting: full of blackberry and dark cherry flavors and high in alcohol and tannins. Premium examples fetch high prices, but are capable of aging.

mystery case
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